Friday, December 12, 2014

What Being a Teacher Means to Me

"Education is the most powerful weapon we can use to change the world."-Nelson Mandela. The message Mr. Mandela portrays in this quote is one reason that I decided to pursue a career in teaching.

For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to become a teacher. My first role model was my very own mother, who was a third grade teacher at a Catholic School but has since found a home teaching kindergarteners at a public school in the next town over. She was the person who got me excited for school, excited for learning, and excited to meet more teachers who had the same compassion for their jobs and their students as she did.

Even at the ripe young age of five, I got great joy out of watching the third graders of Piqua Catholic walk into school on the first day, new book bags and pencils in hand, just as eager as their teacher to take on a whole new year of learning. I knew I would never experience that kind of eagerness and thirst for knowledge anywhere else, no matter how hard I looked.

Though my mom is a very large part of the reason that I want so badly to become a teacher, she is just that-a part. In about third grade, I realized just how important each one of my teachers had been to me and how much they had affected my life in just the short amount of time that we had been together. I found myself remembering specific quotes from my past teachers and applying things that they had taught me to my life everyday. I knew from that point on that teaching was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

Since making my decision to become a teacher, I have had more people than I can count ask me, "Why do you want to be a teacher?" When most people (non-teachers) ask me this, it is usually followed by the statement, "Teachers don't make very much money at all." and the question, ""What's in it for you?" Though that question seems to be tough for most people to come up with an answer to, for me, it's a simple answer. If we are going to change the world for everybody, we must first change the world for one person. Teaching is the best opportunity we have at changing the lives of children. If just one teacher decides to teach, he/she is choosing to not only teach, but to give hope to his/her students, to make a difference in the community in which he/she teaches, and to spread love to others. I always tell people, "Teaching is not about the salary, nor is it about getting summers off. Teaching is about that feeling that you get when you watch as a students learns a concept that will stick with him/her for the rest of his/her life, and knowing that, however small, from then on, you will always be a part of his/her life."

The summer right after I graduated  from high school, I spent two months doing missionary work at an orphanage in Tijuana, Mexico. During my time there, I fell in love with the people, the culture, and the language. I saw so much poverty and need in such a tight space; people in great need of help which they would have readily received had they been born just twenty minutes north. My heart ached for the people of Tijuana-for the children running around naked because their parents couldn't afford clothes and for the parents and grandparents digging through trash bins to find food that had been thrown out just so that they could feed their family and keep themselves alive for one more night. I knew that I had to do something, and I knew that I belonged in Mexico. The only answer I could come up with was what I had learned to value my whole life-education. If I could just touch one child's life, they could reach out to their family, their family to the community, the community to the region, and so on. All of those people's lives changed just by teaching one child such simple things as reading, writing, and good hygiene! Now, imagine if I taught 20, 200, even 2,000 children within my lifetime! How many lives would I be able to change then?

Becoming a teacher, to me, means so much more than sitting at a desk in front of 24 students, writing lessons and handing out homework. It means being involved in each of the students' lives, understanding their different backgrounds, and doing my best to understand where each one of them is coming from. Being a teacher means being a role model for my students, demonstrating to them good morals and how to treat others. It means being with a student for a short time, but playing a part in his/her life forever. Being a teacher means having a family that extends way beyond blood relation, and teaching a student body that extends way beyond the classroom.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

What I'm Doing Wrong

To be honest, I really don't even know why I'm writing this blog. I mean, I haven't even thought about writing a blogpost since 2011. Maybe it's because it's 1AM and I'm not the least bit tired (thanks to that 1.5 hour nap I took today). Maybe it's because I have a lot going through my mind and I just need an outlet (because, let's be honest, college is an extremely stressful time and most days, I just need somewhere to unwind all of my thoughts. Maybe it's because I read a blog written by a Sister in Christ and was so inspired that I thought I it would be a good idea for me to write one, as well. Maybe it's a combination of all of those reasons. Or, maybe all of those reasons were God telling me that He has something planned for me that I don't yet realize, but opening up my thoughts to Him and to the Blog-o-sphere will help me to realize what it is that He needs me to get into my tiny little brain.

Regardless of the reason I'm here, here I am, typing every thought that flows through my mind at this ungodly (or possibly VERY Godly) hour and listening to a mix of Christian songs on Pandora.

Ever since I started college, I have felt stressed, a little depressed, but most importantly ALONE. This is not to say that I AM alone. On the contrary, I have many great friends that I have met while in college (including an amazing group of Sisters in Christ through Kappa Phi). I have two aunts and their families who live within 20 minutes of me and who have so graciously opened their homes to me whenever I need them. I have a loving family and an awesome church congregation who are only an hour and a half away, and whom I get to see (usually) on a bi-weekly basis. I am surrounded by all of this love and encouragement from everybody who is important in my life, yet I still feel alone.

Everyday, I see people who are LOVING college life and would live it forever if they could, and here I am counting down the days until I can get out of here.

I think to myself, "Maybe I'm not as involved as I should be," so I contact other campus organizations and get so involved in school and extracurriculars that I have absolutely no time to think about how alone and empty I'm feeling.

I think, "Maybe I'm not liking my major," so I switch majors and, while that decision helped and I don't regret it at all, I still feel like something is wrong.

I think and stress so much about what I'm doing wrong that it's tearing me up inside. What could I possibly be doing wrong? What do these other people know about happiness that's completely lost on me? I'm going to school like my family wants me to. I'm focusing everything I have on my school work like my university wants me to. I'm attending all kinds of different events on campus like my friends want me to. I'm in the major that I want to be in. I'm doing everything right, aren't I?

That's where God steps in. Actually, God never really just "steps" in, does He? I've only ever known God to come stomping in to my life with such force that I lose control of everything that I have spent so much of my time carefully putting into place. The sheer power of His plan shakes up my whole world. I lose things that I have been dearly holding on to for so long. I lose friends. I lose things. I lose myself.

At first, I get so MAD at God. I know that being mad at God is just ridiculous. I mean, He created me and He loves me. Everything He does is in my best interest. But oh, how easy it is to forget this when you feel like you have lost so much. How could He put all of these things in my life just to let me become attached to them and then rip them away from me? How could He make me so miserable? How DARE He.

I get angry to the point that I am sitting in my dorm room bawling my eyes out and screaming at God for hours on end. I cry so much that my crying turns into laughter. I'm laughing because I don't have any more tears to cry. I'm laughing because I realize that I'm probably scaring the people who live in my building. I'm laughing because I'm pretty sure that God is also laughing. I'm pretty sure that God has been laughing with me for a long time-I just didn't realize that I was also supposed to be laughing.

I believe that God is always laughing-or at least smiling. He knows everything about EVERYTHING, yet here I am challenging Him every single day because I am trusting in humans to tell me what is the right thing to do with my life. I believe that God has laughed every time I've ignored Him because my friends want me to do more things with them, because I'm attending "real" college because society says it's what I need to do, because I'm focusing everything I have on my school work like my college tells me to, because I'm following my own wishes instead of listening to what He says that I need to do.

I don't believe God ever "asks" us to do anything and I DEFINITELY don't believe that He "needs" us to do anything. God is beyond powerful enough to do everything Himself. I mean, EVERYTHING. But, instead of doing everything Himself, He gives us a chance to help Him out. He gives us a chance to use our lives to honor Him. God doesn't need us, but we NEED Him. Without this opportunity to honor Him, we would all be completely lost in this world. I mean, I'm talking more lost than you can even imagine ever feeling. Lost with no sense of hope. what. so. ever.

I realize that the only time I have ever felt alone was when I had given up on God. He has NEVER given up on me, but once I came to college, I knew I wasn't where I was supposed to be. Instead of turning to God, I gave up on Him. THAT'S where I have gone wrong.

This whole time, God has been yelling for me. He has been yelling for my attention. He has been desperately trying to get me to pay attention to what He wants me to do. He has been throwing the Bible in my face (not literally, thank goodness!). He has been laughing along with me when I have made mistakes. He has been lovingly telling me "I told you so!" every single day, and I can't help but laugh right along with Him. He and I both understand that I am human and humans make mistakes, but why is it so hard for me to understand that He is God and He doesn't ever make mistakes?

Many people know that I have felt an unbelievably strong calling to the missions field in Mexico. I have enlisted more than 100 prayer warriors, friends, and family members to be praying that I would have clarity on what He wants me to do, but I have not been praying for myself like I should be-without ceasing. My life is currently EXTREMELY confusing, and it's because I have been trying to use my human resources to figure it out, while totally ignoring the one resource who knows everything. Yes, finishing school is important. It's important to me, it's important to my family, and I believe it's important to God, but I don't believe finishing here (in the US) is what He has in mind (although I am still praying fervently about that, as well). He wants me to be equipped for this huge step in my life that He is presenting to me. He wants me to LOVE Him so much that I have enough overflowing love to help others do the same. He wants me to get it through my thick skull that HE is more important than anything else in the whole entire world. As long as I am following His plan for me, I will NEVER be alone and I will NEVER be in need, no matter where in His world I end up.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

On their way

Mom and Dad are officially on their way to Pennsylvania for the weekend. She will be updating her blog regularly. The link is to Mom's blog

Monday, January 18, 2010

The Sacrifice Of a Lifetime

I wrote this for an English project at the begining of the year and just found it again, so I figured this was the best place to post it.


"The Sacrifice Of A Lifetime"

To walk those streets, to see those people
the ones that smile at me.
They smile not because they know who I am,
but because I'm white, you see.


To Haiti I am rich
A teenaged, tall, white girl.
Seeing those small children starve
sends my head into a whirl.


Those little kids are helpless,
the parents just the same.
I want so much to give them food,
to tell of His grand name.


On my trip to Haiti, I learned so much.
Saw many a heart-breaking scene,
but my trip wouldn't have meant as much to me
if it weren't for Mrs. Eileen.


She spent her time and money
to show me life in their eyes,
She made a huge sacrifice,
and now I realize why.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Haiti

Pictures from Haiti

Photobucket Album

more answers to more comments!

1. What kind of tarantula will mike bring home?
  • I have know Idea, but we saw a HUGE one today!

2. Where have you seen Jesus?

  • I have seen Jesus everywhere I look, especially in the faces of all of the little lids that we have been able to work with!

3. Has Eileen been on a donkey ride

  • We actually did not ride any donkeys this time, though we did see a whole bunch.

4. Have you been sleeping well?

  • Yes, I have slept like a baby all night every night.

5. Have you noticed that roosters dont only crow at dawn?

  • Yes, I have realized that roosters crow randomly when they feel like it, even if your trying to take a nap...

6. Have you heard any witchdoctors chanting?

  • No, I have not heard any chants, but my dad thinks we saw a witch-doctor's house today on our way to the beach.

7. Did you hear we are getting a foot of snow?

  • Yes, Mike and Terry let me know how much snow is falling, when schools get delayed, and when schools get cancelled.

8. What is the project for this year?

  • Wehave had many. The mens main project was to sand, paint, and hang doors on the church in Fose Cap Wa. The women's was to work with kindergarteners. Also, the kids from Sidney First raised 300 dollars by collecting pop cans, so we put that towards fans that are going in the schools!